Many people declare to search the truth; sometimes it seems that this is the main subject of their life, but once having the possibility of begininning the path, many doubts, truobles, duties and terms arise.
“Maybe meditation is not for me”… “I’m still waiting the correct moment, maybe tomorrow or the week after”…”I need time to do this”…”This path is too difficult for me”…”maybe I need yust to relax”…”It is not what I’ve expected to be”…
But, anyone who falled sincerely in love knows the need to unconditioned surrender, to give to the loved one and without reserves all ourselves, and keep the other possible candidates in a second place; the sincere desire to overcome any difficulty making possible even what seems to be impossible, only to be near the person we love.
There are not apologies nor exeptios. When one loves, he loves.
The same thing might be applied for the inner developement. The Truth (if there is any truth to find) is like a source water, available to all those who want drink, but we need to be thirsty, we need a desire to drink that water such as it is… without additives. If we don’t want to drink it because it isn’t a juice or a Coca Cola, it means that we are not enough thirsty, that we didn’t want the source water nor really calming the thirst.
There is nothing wrong… it’s all ok: the thrist is a thing that comes or not, that maybe comes suddenly or rise progressively, from our early childhood. But, when we are thirst, that water becomes the only thing we want, without conditions or limits: every obstacle can be overcomed, because the need of this “water” is stronger than ever else.
The inner research becomes our life, the external converts into internal, making the condition to calm our thirst, or if we prefer, to acieve the aim we want.
Apologies arises even in the mind of those who are sincerely conveyed to the path of inner developement, at least during the first steps. For this reason we can still smile, answering ironically, because we have the safety that there is a “school” round on the corner of the street where we live. There are not obstacles, not chances to loose, we have all the time we need to wait and decide that “maybe tomorrow would be a better day to begin”. That’s the reason why the act of follow a path has lost more of his seriousness and sincerity. Today we can have what we want… at lest we think that is so.
But, we forget those people from the past who walked deserts and forests to find a sign, who searched for years to hear a word, risking their life, tortured by the waiting of the moment they would find an answer.
People who dedicated all their life to find something… maybe only a benediction… and then, they came back at home to give a possibility to the others who “don’t know”.
We can’t (at least I can’t) refuse to think about these persons, keeping their examples deep in our hearts.