What is solitude? It is the total absence of communication with the outer world, one of the most common sicknesses of the 20th and 21st centuries. It is the feeling of the absence of others near us, and the worst thing is when this is perceived amidst a mass of thousands of people. Loneliness is not only the absence of contact with others, but also the absence of contact with ourselves.
In fact, communication between two persons requires at least one conscious communicator. Without a deep self-consciousness, even with all the good will of this world, any true and sincere communication is impossible. This is the main cause of the decline of communication between mates. Men and women know almost nothing about their sexuality, their masculinity and femininity. Without a clear perception of being a part of, or of representing one of these principles, it is impossible for any fusion with a partner. And that is the reason why most people are satisfied with a mechanical, stagnant sex, or an undefined mix of feelings and emotions which drive their relationship towards further misunderstanding and solitude.
Solitude brings further solitude. Parents are unable to make productive communication with their children, and children are unable to establish communication with their parents. The same happens between love and work partners, politicians, professors, and priests. In reality, all the fields of human life are corrupted by this sickness. But it is logical that it must be so: to perform open communication, we need first to understand and know ourselves, at least partially. This means that to overcome the pain of solitude, we must first become good friends with ourselves, understanding ourselves more deeply, discovering ourselves and learning to Love ourselves. That’s the focal point, the only good point, to be able to understand and establish a communication with others.
When we recognize that other persons suffer our same sickness and weakness, then, we establish the first possibility to communicate, and the weight of solitude begins to vanish.
One of the main reasons of incommunicability derives paradoxically from our fear of being misunderstood, being judged, and being rejected. So, manifesting our desires and points of view becomes difficult.
Through observing ourselves, we become more able to identify, to understand, and to overcome our fears. Once we achieve the capacity and habit of observing ourselves deeply, we also come to understand relatively better, other people, because everyone in his manner shares the same fears, blocks, and needs.