Sexuality#2: Conditionings


The Birth of Venus.

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Speaking about the sexual center in theoretical terms is less important than analyzing the subjectivity of the sexual compulsion as experienced in our society. There are so many cultural complications in this phenomenon to make it a matter which is very difficult to freely argue.

Another thing that should be useful to point out here, even if it could seem discounted (but, it seems that it isn’t), is that sexuality and sex (intended as a sexual act) are not the same thing.

Sexual is the representation of the dual nature of the known phenomena: we are male or female, and both genders contain in themselves a further separation of male and female.

This fact implies a “way of being” and a particular vision of life, depending on the specifics present in a particular gender.

Sexual fulfillment, in emotional and physical terms, is universally considered an experience of “major pleasure”, but the relationship with the opposite sex, with all its needs, feelings, expectations and misunderstandings, is difficult for human nature to manage.

In order to discover his sexuality in a harmonic and serene way, a human must develop a balanced and conscious personality. This is fundamental.

Sexuality is bound with an instinct of unification, which,  in matter is represented by physical copulation. Both men and women need an emotional, energetic and mental fulfillment in the reciprocal union.

Of course, such an experience is proportional with the levels of consciousness and self-consciousness achieved, and both are ordinarily insufficient to guarantee the realization of a true and fulfilling unity in Love.

For a human being, such as appears in this century, nothing is simple: his functions obstruct one with the other instead of maintaining their autonomy in the complex psychophysical machine. Today, it is very difficult for a man and a woman to meet without being “touched” by the idea of sex, and this influences their relationship.

Similarly, it is very difficult for the development of a pure and simple relationship, exempt from problematic emotional and psychological manifestations typical of the repressive conditionings towards sexuality, in general. This is one of the reasons why we witness the increase of every kind of excess: from the desperate attempts to seek sexual activity without feelings, to the incapacity of experiencing a free and balanced sexuality, without being colored by sentimental identifications.

Both modern men and women (without exception) confuse sexuality with the need to fill their inner emptiness. Relationships are experienced through emotional needs and personal egoisms. The drive toward individual fulfillment is far stronger than seeking union which could be manifested in the presence of a reciprocal drive and interpenetration.

It’s very difficult to experience a relation between man and woman as true friendship, not only for the great differences between the genders, but also because of the difficulty of perceiving each other for his/her  own humanity, rather than through his/her sexuality: we are first of all “beings/consciousness”, and then “sexual beings”.

If there existed a real and effective freedom in our early childhood concerning the sexual approach, it would be less difficult to grasp such a truth.

All the anomalies of the sexual field can interfere drastically with a sober and effective development of an individual consciousness, paralyzing every possibility of individual evolution.

We are all mechanical and unaware of everything, and sex is not an exception. Unfortunately, it represents one of the major attractions, and the drive is so powerful, especially because of the deep meanings covered in the male/female duality. In its true manifestation, sex should allow us to achieve the blessed state of “human warmth”. Such love could represent an experience of fusion and interpenetration which could prepare us toward a greater embrace towards all humanity. But, in the conditions we are in now, this is pure sci-fi, the reality is quite the opposite. In most cases, what we call love, creates expectations, suspicion, division, closure. For example, jealousy, one of the main causes of disharmony in a relationship, is an emotional deformation that has nothing to do with sexuality. It’s the work of another center (the emotional) confused with the work of the sexual center.

All the problems concerning the mechanical limits and the absence of a stable and directive “self” are reflected even in a relationship that needs the maximal possible in a natural way.

A human being immediately grasps his “incompleteness”, and tries to fill it through emotions and the acquisition of constant experiences. Even the search for a mate is related with this tendency. Nevertheless, emotions, thoughts and the sexual function interfere constantly with each other, generating a chaos that is unbearable for anyone.

The sexual function related with the corresponding center, should be activated in a natural way in determined conditions, without interferences from the emotional and the intellectual, but this doesn’t happen. Often, the emotional function, replaces the sexual, which generates a presumed and irrational attraction towards the other gender, and such phenomenon happens because of needs that have nothing to do with the physical- energetic field itself.

The out- and- out, so natural, sexual drive is free from all the psychological and emotional connotations ordinarily present in a human being. For example, the approach between two persons who love each other could activate the sexual center in a pure way, originating an energetic direction that is independent from the sexual act itself; or, the sexual center could also be activated in a spontaneous way if stimulated from external impressions of a sexual nature. Never mind if the activation is of emotional or sensory nature. In both cases it’s spontaneous, so it’s activated freely, without the interference of other centers (emotional or intellectual considerations).

But this happens rarely. Usually, the intellect moves before the sexual function through imaginations and fantasies that influence the emotional sphere, and the result has nothing to do with sexuality and the respective center. In other cases, there’s onlyan identification with a series of emotions to push us to an experience that almost always lacks the freedom and spontaneity of the sexual center.

Both in men and women there is an increase of the physical and psychical dysfunctions bound to the sexual field. The functional disorder of this aspect increases more and more. But, to obtain control and power over something, first it needs to be free from its influences; until we are slaves of this function, we will be unable to understand or draw any “profit”.

Such a slavery is manifested in the fact that we are unable to renounce at any moment to sex, but also in the fact that we consider it, as a consequence of our conditionings, as something “dirty”, thus a sin.

Indeed, in our society, it is very difficult to speak about sexuality, because we are limited by preconceptions that are crystallized in our unconscious field as result of centuries and centuries of moralizations about such an argument.

Just think about the fact that usually, persons have many difficulties to show themselves without clothes, or to the logic accepted by the masses who consider as natural to feel shame of our nudity. This is a deviant perception, and it belongs to the demonization of sexuality, an attitude which brings us to condemn the organs related with this function, and to all that could arouse sexual desire.

But the deviation of the sexual function is well visible even in some other totally opposite field in our daily life: for example, in the publicity of the various media, sexual references are constant in all we can see, read and hear. And, this is the typical paradox of a sick, deviated behavior: we live in a society in which we have many difficulties to sunbathe naked (except for the reserved ghettos of the naturalists), but we accept passively (in a relative way) the fact that that a woman can be seen as an object who could be shown in  TV publicity (as a product of sexual desire).

In many religious fields, it is taught to children that the sexual act, if not intended to procreate, is a sin, but no one has ever explained the reason for such a statement. Some supporters of this theory states that making love for just the pleasure of it makes us similar to animals, forgetting that all the animal realm is almost totally “enslaved” to the sexual instinct just for the procreation of the species.

There are really too many conditionings and limitations related to the argument of sexuality that keep us unable to develop a balanced relationship with this function, and such conditionings keep us slaves of an infinite series of needs which arise in our mind first, before in our body.

We consider absolutely natural to feel shame when kissing a mate in public, because the opposite behavior would seem to lack of civility; but, we don’t feel shame when we bicker or are violent or aggressive in public: no, this is for us a more normal thing than expressing love through kissing our mate in public.

We all know how a man and a woman seem without clothes, but we still feel the need to cover our nakedness. Sincerely, seen from a detached perspective, this is a pure and concrete psychosis.

Sexual function, in modern men and women, has almost nothing more that is natural. It contains a form of power that should be purified from the complex influences of our mind, and balanced so that it could be studied for what it is, as it is. From our adolescence, sexuality takes a really great place in our attention, so it should be understood and studied as a fundamental object for our development as human beings. The best way to face and resolve the problem of the conditionings related with our sexuality, is to study ourselves.

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About mr Sarmoung

Andrea Dandolo je pisac i istražitelj razvoja svijesti i duhovnosti uključen u razotkrivanje drevnih učenja s ciljem olakšavanja unutarnjeg razvoja ljudskih bića. Jedan od načina kojima se time bavi je i kroz blog koji je preveden na engleski, španjolski i od nedavno hrvatski. Od rane mladosti je u svijetu duhovnosti i rada na sebi sudjelujući u radu grupa koje potječu direktno od Gurdjieffa, tj koje su bile vođene od strane samog Gurdjieffa U skladu sa drevnim znanjima, naglašava razvoj svjesnosti kao primarno sredstvo za psihološku transformaciju i duhovnu osvještenost individualaca. Karakteristike sistema koji predlaže su jednostavan jezik i moderni prijevod drevnih učenja kao i njihove praktične primjene u svakodnevnome životu. Njegov blog čitaju ljudi iz svih krajeva svijeta. Samorazvoj je ne religiozni i ne dogmatski put; sastoji se primarno od naprednog dostizanja viših stanja svijesti, p prisustva i konačno od ostvarivanja svoje prave intimne prirode, koja je poznata u mnogim tradicijama pod imenima poput esencija, duša, biće. Kroz takav razvoj individualna osoba ulazi u nove dimenzije svijesti koje mu omogućuju da vidi stvarnost sakrivenu iza iluzija. To mu omogućuje kreiranje osobnosti neovisne i otporne na vanjske situacije i vanjska uvjetovanja. Posljedice takvog razvoja su oštra inteligencija, izvanredni kreativni kapaciteti, ravnoteža i smirenost u svakoj situaciji i stabilno stanje višeg stanja svijesti koje je poznato u drevnim tradicijama pod nazivom “buđenje”.
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