It’s not a good feeling being underestimated or not appreciated for what we are, and the most unfair reason is being unappreciated because our behaviour and way of thinking doesn’t match the ordinary social clichès.
This could be very distressing, especially if the source of such behaviour toward us, are our parents, friends, or other people whom we respect.
Nevertheless, the opinion of others remain what it is, as it is: a subjective opinion! And this opinion should not influence our emotions very greatly. When these situations influence us, we are carried by the external influences, so, in order to get a “crumb” of external approval, we lose the capacity of “being ourselves”.
At the same time, we should avoid judging those who underestimate us. Perhaps, on one hand, we are correct in feeling ourselves to be harmed by their thoughts, but it remains that their thought represents a perception of things that they have the right to have. If someone thinks we are crazy, this is his problem, not ours – it’s their problem if they enjoy losing time on such trivial things.
But what we should think about isn’t if we have or haven’t the right to be angry or offended by another’s considerations…but rather, why such considerations strike us.
The reason is that we are dependent, “addicted” to external considerations. If we could be free from what others think of us – and this means to not take heed that our thoughts or points of view are criticized and not accepted, we wouldn’t become so ardent towards those who, in our opinion, judge us unfairly. We need to increase our self-awareness in order to remain calm and stable towards the criticisms of others.
This incapacity of “being ourselves” in order to achieve positive consideration from those we usually attend, makes impossible a coherent and balanced way of living – and also, creates many difficulties to be understood correctly by others. If we remain coherent, sometimes those who criticize us could change their opinion. If this doesn’t happen… nevermind… it’s their point of view. If otherwise, we declare war on the whole world or, worse, we “prostitute” our thoughts so as to be accepted by others, all becomes more complicated.
It must also be said that it is very difficult to maintain ourselves balanced when criticized, and at the same time we are unable to be open to the other’s opinions. We can always learn something about life and ourselves, from anyone, but there’s a great difference between changing our stance because we consider the criticisms as valid, and changing our points of view in order to gain a slap on the back.
Another personal consideration, in my opinion, is that we should ponder on the fact that we can’t be false, at any cost, for the approval of those we love. If we truly love someone, we must accept her as she is, remaining firm in what we consider correct for us, but also remembering that others also have a freedom of thought.
If someone thinks we are crazy, this is His problem, not ours – it’s their problem if they enjoy losing time on such trivial things….